Sorry Laina,

it was not my intention to frighten you. But I think we should share experiences. I did not feel frightened about
this at all. It was just some strange recall. I never had the impression that those beings were evil, but they were
afraid of me because they had to keep something secret from me.
Or, it was more like I should not know something too early because it would be somehow harmful to them. And
when they realized that I could communicate by telepathy with them they were frightenend of me because they had
to keep their secret.
Did anyone experience something similar? It was just a flashback, but it was so intense that I really thought I have been
in that room. I think we should also share such strange experience, somehow I feel that do not have to be afraid, we just
have to trust in ourselves and if we are really meant to do something special I am sure everything was given to us that we
can cope with our task.

Hi guys!
I created a separate topic with my introduction, I gave a little bit more of my background than some people here did and I though maybe other people could relate to that. Its something that still bothers me and I don't like to talk about it too much. Check it out if you haven't already.

Hope - you're right. My request was kind of annoying. I was scared and over-reacting at the time : /
I would have skipped over the post, but what frightened me was close to the very end and I didn't expect it at all.

I'm sorry to bother you, Traveller. Please continue to share your experiences. I'm sure everyone can benefit from this.
It's just that I have had extremely disturbing nightmares concerning the beings you mentioned, as well as what could possibly be memories from when I was really little.
I've had several legitimate panic attacks and sleepless months as a result of the phobia that developed because of them. That was my reason for reacting the way I did.
Sorry again if I annoyed anyone.

Laina,

sorry for bothering you again, but you just wrote that you got nightmares from memories of your childhood.
Did you dream of the same beings I mentioned? The "greys" or the the other ones I mentioned from my dreams?
I don't want to scare you again, but if you had similar experiences about those beings perhaps you could write
about it?

I'd rather not type everything out.
My fears and dreams were not a result of childhood memories, but they made me think twice about a few of them.
I think it's enough to say that I don't feel safe in my own home, my bedroom least of all.
I've never had the experience of being somewhere "else" as you seem to have had.
My immediate reaction to mention of those beings is sheer terror and panic, and I'd love nothing more than to see one in reality and murder it violently.
I apologize for sounding like such a weirdo, but that's how I feel.

I don't think the fears I have are connected to my reasons for joining this forum, so to me it feels counter-productive to dwell on them or discuss them too much.

Hi Laina,

but why did you have this reaction of sheer terror and panic because of those beings I mentioned?
It was not the feeling to be somewhere else to precise my statement, it was just such a strong flashback
that I could really strongly remember this scene in my mind. It was so strong, that I didnt see the things
around me, it was just like beeing again somewhere where I have been before, but everything in my mind.

In general I think fear is a bad feeling, we should trust in ourselves and with fear we will make the step
over the barrier which is in front of us and reveal the truth...

of course I meant without fear we will make the step...

This place. Indescribable.
I found this site in search for answer's , I am so shocked to find an outcome like this.
I have been feeling lost for years now, I have felt undescribaly like I'm ment for more,
Iv spent endless days living along people and freindsdoing what there doing, and comming home
To lay in bed and feel as tho it was so f***ing pointless!
I feel things I just want to express, I want to sit down with my girlfriend and say this is how I feel and have her look me in the eyes and understand,
I feel as thoni look her on the eyes and I can see a zombie, I don't mean that as Thisbe is any less then me as she has been supportive and great.
But I feel as tho people have no idea of what the mind is capable of, and whatever they think anxiety depression wonder and deep thinking is, there way off ( I say this in a way that I'm trying to not look down on anyone)
I have never had anywhere to describe this.. So it is a first and I don't know how to express my words correctly , I feel as tho no matter what I write it is not what I'm feeling. I figure most of you understand that. If not I still haven't finished my journey of searching.

I have gone to so manny places wondering what is wright with me, I have been left feeling so incomplete that it is literally eating me alive, I have begun to feel dark and scared. I feel so different , I have been led to believe from doctors I have " borderline personality disorder"
F*** them right? Label me what you want.
I am lost and I may be depressed I may be anxious, but I am not what they think I am.

Sorry I'm rambling, I can't stop typing, it's 2:19 am and iv never got to let it out in my whole life.

I have spent hours listening to music alone in my room feeling like I'm in aconplished, no matter how much money I spend on cloths I still don't feel like I'm me yet, I feel as tho there's something more I'm defined for, I feel as tho one day "god" if you will..
Will come down and go here.. And give me the answer the reason iv been feeling incomplete, iv always dreamed of that, of one day someone coming along and pointing out my purpose.

I'll try skating, and go to learn a new trick. Why even bother, what's it matter.
I went to finish an s.a ... What does it matter.
I get halfway threw things and think to myself, why am I trying so hard on something.. It's just .. Ah I can't even explain it.
It feels pointless.

I have been lead to believe my whole life what i have is a disease not a gift, I have been given pills to "calm" my mind.
But the truth is , I hate it but it's so addictive, I hate the way I am but I'd never give up it's sweet displeasure.
This is the first time I have been able to exept I may actually be more.

See i still feel I differ from you, as I feel you guys are somewhat englightened.
My mind has been open to everyone's opinions, and diseased. I can feel myself becoming depressed, and overcomes with fear.
Alongside of having this enevedable feeling of knowing there's something more I should be doing , I also feel as thoni am nothing and I am so scarred of life.
This sense that I have, it is confusing it is painfull. I can't full fill my desire to do more because I have no idea whatnot is.. Were it incoming from, note will others understand.
Not only do people not understand .. They
Dont take in that deep feeling, you know..
Sometimes someone will walk up and you will express a little emotion they pick up on, and youcan literally feel that they understand and it like a mental aurating energy. I have only felt this a few times, and when exposing how I feel to others, I can tell they don't understand, there eyes there body language how they reply, they have never felt how we have.
I wish there was a way or a label to express who we are. I feel as tho if i label myself, I will fit in a category , which will mean I am something. I'll be "category"!!

Guys this feeling is literally slowly killing me, I'm not so sure it's a gift sometimes, I need to express howni feel.
If anyone else has had trouble expressing themselfs and nothing fills that spot please email me,
Sometimes people say write down how u feel.. Jot even slightly forefilling (exept now)
Punch a pillow.. You kidding?
Try talking to someone close... What sucks more then anything. The closest person i have, my everything won't even understand.
It's hard talking about it, and alot f you guys say how much of a gift and how great we are, but do any of you feel cludded by this as tho it's binding you?
I do! If anyone feels like this I'd much like to here from you.

Last post I didn't include my email, my thoughts were just rushing as I typed. "Pandamonix@hotmail.com"

Pandamonix,

Your post really touched me and I wanted to respond.

I wish life would have come with an instruction manual, but it didn't. Most of us, in this forum, face similar difficulties as yours. Even if we sound "enlightened", we all have our share of problems, trust me.
Because the subject of our questions are taboo in our society we feel isolate. Loneliness amplified our issues and it can feel unbearable sometimes.
I feel that very often.
I am questioning the meaning of my life every second.
I have no answer.
They may be no answers at all.
Like I said in a previous post: I believe life is a journey not a destination. Maybe our goal is to find peace and happiness without denying who we are, and perhaps someday help others like us.

I have decided that I will make the most out of my life, even if my existence is like a puzzle with missing pieces, I will keep going.

Few years ago I took the decision to create my own secret bubble, my own world.
My world is in my heart, I filled it up with love, values and dreams. I decided to not stick to any labels or categories, I decided to be myself, totally my own self from head to toes. I decided that I would love myself, I would trust myself and respect myself no matter what other people says about me.
I have somewhat found some balance since (even if the meaning of my life remain without answer) I am able to functionate better now.

Sometimes when I feel like I am loosing grip, I have two ways to make things better:
First, I try to stay physically grounded: I imagine that I have roots who link me to Earth, I repeat myself that I am a part of this world, that I meant to do good and that I have the right to feel what I feel...
Then, when I feel lost, sad, hurt or lonely, I keep repeating to myself that I have a gift, that I am different because of it, that I need to embrace it because it's part of me, and that I am the only one who can change the color of my life, twist things around and make it beautiful.
It's hard to self motivate and everything come with perseverance, but I know we all can all do it. If you want, you can also repeat those things out loud, the sound of your own voice can help to calm things down.

I hope this will help you, and others too.

Anyway don't forget that there is a bunch of people in this forum who feel the same way as you do. You are not alone anymore.

Please let us know if you feel better...

Nancy

I found this site not sure if it was an accident or on purpose. My entire life I knew that I was meant for greatness and the whole world would know who I am. The only problem is I don't know why.. I've been looking all over and then I found this site. If anyone can possibly help me in anyway or form of why I feel this way let me know.

Please and thank you
-Kyle

Hello everyone. I have come across this forum somewhat accidentally but reading all of your posts has sent shivers down my spine and certified what I have suspected to be true for quite some time now - that I am different. It is also a great comfort to know that I am not alone, and I realise now that it was probably far from accidental that I stumbled across this site.

I will now explain my story.

Starting from the very beginning - I remember the day I was born. I don't remember BEING born but I remember being in the perspex cot in the hospital with faces peering over me. I remember looking up at people wondering who they were, and the feeling I attach with that memory is one of slight annoyance or that I had been disturbed or imposed upon. It didn't feel like the beginning of me though, if that makes sense. It was as if I was just beginning another phase in my journey.

Throughout my childhood I had very intense, very vivid and often lucid dreams. These dreams were often prophetic, for example I once dreamed of a huge house fire and sure enough, the next day the house behind ours caught fire and was ablaze for hours. Other times include mundane things such as dreaming of family friends who we hadn't seen for a while and them turning up at the door unexpectedly the next day, etc etc. I'm not sure if I felt 'different' at such a young age because I was less aware of other people, so I didn't know that this sort of thing didn't happen to everyone.

As a child I was also very intuitive about people and places. It was almost like I knew who was good for me and who was bad. There were certain friends houses I loved being in, based on nothing but a certain presence that I felt in those houses, but there were also houses or places that felt uncomfortable and I tried to avoid those ones, even if the family were lovely and welcoming I was always able to feel a different presence.

I was not a reclusive child as such, I had plenty of friends but I always felt alone (and still do, for that matter), not in a lonely sense but in a sense that I never felt any true connections with my friends as a child. They didn't get me. I had an intense, obsessive obsession with the paranormal which I would try to infringe upon my friends but they remained largely uninterested! I was forever researching ghosts, aliens, spirits, telepathy etc etc and according to my parents it would be my main topic of conversation.

Growing up I continued to experience the same things - intense, prophetic, long, vivid, lucid dreams, feelings of remarkable intuition, being able to read people etc. Oh and another thing is that I have a very very highly developed ability to draw people. I can draw people's faces with incredible accuracy despite never having been formally trained. I am good at drawing in general but it is in portraiture that my skills are most prevalent.

When I was 13 we had gone, as a family, up to Scotland because my grandmother had become very ill and it was likely she was going to die. We had been there for a few days and then one night I awoke suddenly, bolt upright and looked at the alarm clock next to me which was glowing (it was one of those ones that glows up if you press a button so that you can see the time in the dark, however I hadn't pressed the button) and the time said 4.24am. I just looked at it, thought nothing of it and then fell back to sleep. The next morning my dad informed me that my grandma had died early that morning... at 4.24am.

The past 2 years of my life I would say have been the most intense period in terms of these otherworldly feelings and experiences that I have. About 2 years ago I went through a period of intense, severe anxiety and depression, undoubtedly due to my feelings of disconnection to other people (despite on the surface coming across like a normal person... it becomes incredibly draining to feel this way, as I'm sure most of you will understand). It was around this time that I started experiencing the 11:11 phenomenon - something which I also knew nothing about until a few months ago, after I had been seeing 11:11 for over a year already. It got to the point where I was seeing 11:11 every day, and that has continued ever since. I have periods where I will see 11:11 every day, sometimes several times a day, and then periods where I see it less. I am not sure what it means for me but I know that since I have started experiencing 11:11 my life has been through some significant positive changes, for which I am incredibly grateful.

It was also 18 months ago that I had my most intense and vivid dream of all time. It is too long to go into the detail of it, but in short it was a dream in which I was given a message by a stranger that something terrible was about to happen in the form of a global disaster, and it was down to me and 3 other people to put a stop to the incident, or else the entire world was f*cked, essentially. Anyway we didn't manage to stop the incident, and the majority of the dream was set in an awful dystopia where the people at the top were trying to whittle down the entire human race by 95% in order to create a new 'super-race'. There were conditioning centres set up all over the world where everyone had to go in and if you passed a series of tests and clinical trials you were released into the New World, but if you didn't pass you were killed by being drowned in acid.

Anyway since that dream I have felt more different than ever. I truly feel like I have some sort of purpose for being here, like there is going to come a time when I will be needed for something big. I can't help feeling like that dream was a signal, as if to say 'be ready'. I KNOW something is going to happen soon because I am becoming more and more aware of my strengths every day. Prophetic dreams are so regular for me now that I base decisions on them. I use my intuition to guide me in everyday, mundane decisions. I am seeing 11:11 most days. I have intense deja vu regularly.

I am hoping that through getting to know some of you a bit better through these forums, and hearing your experiences, I can prepare myself even more for whatever it is that is inevitably going to happen, and that we have probably been put here for. Please, if anyone wants to PM me and discuss our stories and experiences in more detail I would be more than happy to do so.