-I posted this as a response to bbalquen's original post on EP-
Here is a link to the Original Thread: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories...g-Things/932487

I never knew how to to put it into words really, but I've always felt like I was meant to do something great. The problem always is, it's not something great I can do for the world as it is. I've felt like maybe I should've been born hundreds of years in the past or hundreds of years in the future. Or that, tomorrow, or next week, or next year, something will happen to show me the path. I've wandered aimlessly through interests trying to "find myself." I start out fine, then after a while I feel like it's trivial and not what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm 24 now (we all seem to be similar age...). "Success" to me isn't money, or a big car, or a hot wife, or anything I can attain realistically in the world. I asked myself, "What is my motivation? What is my goal?" I can only really answer with "The Truth, the Ultimate Knowledge."

I feel like there are more people that KNOW what I'm talking about. I feel like you KNOW what I'm talking about. There must be others on "our level" so to speak. I also hesitate saying all this because it sounds like delusions of grandeur, or being better than others...I prefer to think of it as just being different.

We're drawn in some way to some thing. We just don't know what it is yet.

I don't want to sound weird again, but I feel like I'm supposed to meet up with the others like me(us). And we'll know exactly what we're supposed to do when the time comes...I've always felt connected to something somehow. Kind of reminds me of Close Encounters...some subtle unconscious yearning.

-BC

Do you ever have re-occurring dreams about meeting up with a group of people you know so well in the dream but have never met or can remember when you wake up? I've had these for years. They always take place in the same area, a large house in a clearing surrounded by tall trees. It's always the same group of people, a group of about 15-20. They know me and I know them just as well if not better than my best friends in real life (they are my best friends, but we are still not...connected...not even close to the way I feel connected to all of you, even though we've never met).

Anyone there?

John Bonique

I feel the exact same way.

I am a 27 year old wife and mother- though I never thought that would happen, I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.

That being said....... I have felt different my entire life. There has always been that "something" about me. When I was young I had a ton of friends- practically everyone in the neighborhood met up at my house......but I didn't feel like I was like them, not by a long shot. I always dressed different. I did my hair different. I tried out new things. When kids my age were playing with barbies, I was exploring in the woods, painting, writing poetry, and I spent a lot of time pretending and day dreaming. While other kids were reading about the box car kids, I was reading about the Bermuda Triangle, the witches of Salem, aliens and ufo's, psychic abilities, etc...... Kids always ask a lot of questions, but I think I broke the record. I always questioned everything and to this day I continue to do so. I analyze and re-analyze everything to the point my brain just never rests. When things didn't make sense to me, I dug for answers. Nothing I learned in school made sense to me.... especially science and history. I felt like I wasn't hearing the entire story and I was mad that everyone else was ok with not knowing things...... or accepting things that made no sense. I started getting really bad grades in about 4th grade and it all went downhill from there. I just couldn't do the work- I am the type to where if I can't do something right, and fully understand it, I won't do it. Well, a lot of what I was being taught sounded like total bs to me. Eventually I dropped out in the 8th grade and got right into college. It was never that I wasn't smart, I was actually too smart for my own good. Nothing ever felt right. Everything I did felt like it was taking me down the wrong path. So I dropped out of college- several times. I quit job after job because it would become routine and I would feel like a prisoner to it.

I have crazy dreams and have had them all my life. I remember them down to the detail, even remember dreams I had as a little girl. Lots of common things- being chased by people, sometimes by things I couldn't see, being surrounded by snakes, drowning in a tidal wave or swimming in a murky swamp, demons trying to possess me, end of the world scenarios, stars coming toward earth, fireballs in the sky, bombs, chaos, etc..... lots of dreams of being trapped in a haunted house, dreams of being trapped in a hospital, concentration camps, running through the city trying to find my family during a disaster, lots of praying with groups of people, the dreams just get really bizarre and way too real to mean absolutely nothing. I taught myself how to fly in my dreams. I have lucid dreams and can develop skills, change things, make stuff happen, I even rationalize things in my dreams. I am so analytical in my waking life that even when I dream, I notice things that aren't quite right and become lucid. I have had dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams..... I have had dreams that I swear felt more like out of body experiences..... and I even believe I heard the voice of God himself in a dream. As a kid I often sleepwalked and talked in my sleep. I have always had sleep disturbances, waking up around the same time every night and still do to this day. It's exhausting. So the dream situation is the most prevalent issue for me.

When I was a kid, weird shit happened. One night when I was about 6, I woke up out of my sleep, as I always did. Everything on my floor looked like it was moving, sort of like it was vibrating to the point things were spinning. There were bright balls of light allover my room..... kind of like how when you rub your eyes too hard, only much more visible and realistic looking..... I screamed for my parents and they insisted it was a dream. When I was a kid, it was hard to separate my dreams from reality so I grew up telling myself it was only a dream....... but in my late teens, I kept thinking about it and now at age 27 I honestly believe something happened. I believe it was real. I have always been paranoid----- checking and rechecking doors and windows, checking on my kids to make sure they are still there..... I can't sleep alone. I just lay there for hours paranoid at the slightest sound then my eyes play tricks on me and I keep thinking I see shit- like shadows or distortions in the air.. It's just enough to alert me but not enough to make me REALLY believe I saw something, which starts making me feel crazy like I am losing it. I also feel like I am constantly being watched by a familiar presence. I grew up with this presence. I don't communicate with it or see it but it's still a part of my reality like I just have an awareness that it is there. I can feel when it's near and when it leaves. I used to be scared of "it" but now I feel sort of comforted and there have been so many times I should have died in my life but it felt as if something supernatural has been guiding me. When I start going down the wrong path I get shaken up until I redirect myself. There are so many times I have tried to forget all of this and tell myself I am just being overdramatic and over thinking the situation..... and I go on trying to be normal, trying to live a normal life and enjoy the day to day grind.... but something always brings me back to this neverending soul search.... I obsess over it but the obsessing feels right. Like I am onto something. And I get confirmation when I am onto something....... those chills that just feels like your entire spirit is shaking inside of you..... crying unexpectedly...... the inner peace like you just KNOW something having NO proof, nothing to go off of- some things you just KNOW. That's how I feel.

Last year I started experiencing the 11:11 phenomenon..... I could ramble on about that for a while..... but I will spare you.

I feel it is very important to mention that I am Christian. Do not get the wrong impression here. I don't know it all and a lot of things in the Bible don't make sense to me but I have that feeling of "knowing" that it is the truth. I understand with my human mind there are some things I can't rationalize and there are some things I am either not supposed to know, or the timing for me to know things isn't now...... but I feel it that it's real. I believe a lot of information is missing. I believe there have been mistranslations. But just as the Bible clearly states how important knowledge and wisdom are, I am on a constant search for answers and for the truth. With so many lies in this world, you can't go by words alone, you have to use your spirit to guide you. Beyond what you look like and how you relate to the world and others, those inner thoughts that guide you, that feeling of awareness and consciousness, that's your spirit and it's usually right. If you know you are a good person and you know you mean no harm and only want whats right and true in life, I believe nothing can hurt you and nothing can stop you. So I feel that God wants me to do something important. People listen to me. People connect with me. I am VERY empathetic and am affected by peoples emotions. I know just by being in the presence of someone who they are and what they are about. That's a hard one to deal with. Try explaining to your friend that her new boyfriend will eventually beat her ass..... Upon first meeting him..... try telling someone you KNOW they are lying to you when you have absolutely NO proof.... All you can say is, "Trust me, I just KNOW". That usually doesn't pan out too well and often insults people, even when you only mean right by them..... But I feel that this, along with my understanding and my connection to who I REALLY am and not how I appear, is my gift. And I think that's what is going to ultimately help me achieve my purpose on this earth. I do feel that something horrible is going to happen very soon and I have felt that way my whole life..... like, I don't see myself getting super old..... Since I don't see life being that long for me, I have never been interested in stacking up material possessions and this causes a lot of conflict between me and my husband- because he is one of "those" people who are satisfied with the day to day grind...... How I hate complacency...... but still, I love him and I feel he was brought into my life for a reason. It's funny because the people who come into my life for the long haul always enter it under the STRANGEST circumstances, and I feel they were led to me. Even my husband told me that he doesn't know what it is but something is different and he feels it....... he just doesn't understand. If anyone would like to email me, it's kal32205@gmail.com. I look forward to meeting you all.

Good to see I found you all. I was getting pretty freaked out by "the event" or whatever you want to call it. It seems like nobody I know knows about it.
And now it's time for my story. First of all, I'm thirteen years old. Yeah. I started getting feelings about "the event" almost three years ago. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. Even before that, I've always felt special, as if noone else thought the same way as me. Anyways, after I started feeling the event, I, of course, began to wonder what the hell it was all about. I came up to a conclusion that it had something to do with all of mankind, not just me. After that I just kept asking myself,"when it happens, do I become good or bad?". I didn't really know, so I figured that if i was supposed to be good I would be fighting to save people, if you know what I mean. I should also point out for this next bit, that I've always felt pretty in touch with nature. At one point in school, we had to write an essay on what we would achieve when we got older. I then wrote about how people pollute the earth, and that we had to stop it before we destroyed it completely (if you've ever heard of the Gaia hypothesis, it's like that). So at this point I figured that the right thing to do would be to kill everyone and let nature restore itself. But then after watching a bunch of documentaries on global warming and everything, that it wasn't as bad as I had initially thought, so I decided that killing everyone was a bit extreme and, for lack of a better word, disturbing. I figured that if I just knock out all of the power plants in the world and try to convince everyone to stop killing the planet then that would be a happily ever after ending. But then I realized that this whole act would be futile in the fact that if you stop something with violence, everybody would just rebel and keep going like before. That's when I came up with the solution of saving people as opposed to killing them. I just decided that either way, I wouldn't be living out the conventional "dream life". I used to want to be a zoologist, but now that seems about as real as a little kid wanting to be a footy player (oh, I should mention that I'm from Australia, so that's about as far away from reality as dream lifes get). Since then everything apart from the reality leading up to "the event" just seemed so... Imaginary and just unreal in general. I think that at some point in the next couple of years that there will be some sort of signal (basically just the anticipation feeling but a hell of a lot stronger) and at that point I will just leave my current life behind, ditch my family, go off the grid, and just go with whatever feels right after then. I have been training for the last two years in preparation of the signal feeling (I'm not sure if that is the actual event, or just a precursor up to the event telling us all to get ready). I have been doing martial arts four times a weak, been learning tactics that will help me survive and working on some pyrokinetic skills (if you don't know what that is, just google pyrokinesis). The only problem with this is that I can't concentrate on anything but "the event". This has become a serious problem owing to the fact that I no longer do my schoolwork and am in pretty serious danger of getting kept down. It just doesn't seem at all important or relevant to me. I pretty much feel that "the event" is what I'm supposed to do in life. Like all of you seem to, in my dreams of the future, I never seem to be very old, mostly below my mid thirties. This doesn't worry me at all though, because I know that "the event" will pretty much be my whole life. BTW when you hear me talking about dreams, I don't even really mean the dreams everyone has while they sleep. I almost never have that sort of dream. What I mean by dream is sort of like a movie, just in my head (like when you read a book, you form an image in your head). Another thing is that everything I have been talking about is that I have had to keep secret in fear of being deemed "not normal". Even now I am typing all of this on my iPod so my family doesn't find out about me. I just don't want them to be afraid of me and act all weird around me because of what's going on inside my head. My sister, who is two years older than me is already scared of me for having what I like to call a short fuse strapped to a hundred pounds of TNT. Yeah, i used to get angry pretty quickly (I've managed to fix that), and when I did get angry, I got kinda destructive (which I haven't really been able to fix). That originally got me concerned that "the feeling" (or whatever you want to call it) was just me losing it for good.
Anyway, I'm sorry if this is a bit of a long read, and if I scared you a bit during that bit about killing everyone. I had issues a couple of years back which I'm pretty much over now. Anyhow if you can tell me your thoughts about all of this and if you experienced anything above, that would really help.

I havent had too much success on the pyrokinesis, i can make a room heat up slighty and i can make flames from candles move a little, but thats about it. Apparently it takes a pretty long time to get good at.

Hi everyone! I did put up some information on my profile but will add it here just in case.

My thoughts tonight before I came across this site were:

“I am saying something about the ineffable. I am saying something about the ultimate mystery. You can understand it, yet you can never understand it totally. It is elusive, it escapes. It is within reach, but it is not within grasp. You are always coming closer and closer to it, but you never arrive. And the day you arrive, then you are no more there; the distinction between the seeker and the sought disappears."

Then, as an afterthought, with a wry and cynical grin I typed the following into my search engine: Who else is out there searching for something more?

Needless to say, I was just about to give up like I always do after endless searching when I came across this site...

I'm shaking my head in awe and trying not to get too excited at feeling I've finally made it .. Somewhere..when I'm not exactly sure where here is yet. However, after reading what I have so far, I must say it is like looking into an uncanny refection of my own thoughts. I am 24 years old and feel like I have been waiting lifetimes to make a connection to someone else who feels the same way. Ironically enough, the only other person I have met in my life who is similar to us so far is also within the same age group. I met him only 2 months ago. Coincidence? I'm beginning to wonder...... His name is Gabriel and I also invited him to join this site.

By the end of tonight.. I will have read everything that's been posted and see... (Shaking head, and hoping we aren't all utterly albeit intelligently insane ;)

So, after reading everything I've decided to hop aboard. I'll tell you a little bit about myself and then I can't wait to start collaborating about what we can do.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my insatiable thirst for Knowledge and zest for life. I love life and am excited about all of life's mysteries. I love people and animals and feel extremely connected to nature and my surrounding and am inquisitive and compassionate by nature. I’m constantly seeking adventure in an endless quest for knowledge about the greater meaning of life. I want to travel the world, meet new cultures, speak new languages, try new foods, and experience life to the fullest. I look for the good in all but seek the truth and defy being labeled, as I tend to always think outside the box. I’m a writer, artist, philosopher, seeker, and all around curious cat ;)

I spend a lot of time pondering the meaning of life and our place within it. Doing research into philosophy, psychology, spirituality, religions, beliefs, cultures and more I strive to discover the best roads to go down on this quest for knowledge. I'm interested in the subconscious mind, martial arts (chi), eastern spirituality and philosophy, metaphysics and more. I'm intrigued by Nikola Tesla and individuals who are great thinkers. I am also in constant thrall over how our world works. In one way or another, on some level, I'm trying to find and put together the puzzle pieces of the larger picture we call life.

I too say this with wariness and a wry smile.. I have always felt different and been told by many growing up that I was an old soul and would be doing something important with my life. Like you all have mentioned, we may get distracted with life but the very essence of who we are reminds us that we are meant for something much greater. I think it’s curious that we all have so many similarities. I also think we are all too analytically intelligent and aware of our surroundings and the way the world works to be completely off our rocker ;P

So why not embrace this new twist of fate and see where us all communicating can effect a positive change. At the very least something interesting and good can come of collaboration between such a dynamic group of individuals!

I agree 100% and I am thrilled you decided to post this. I too have a thirst for knowledge (I just posted on "discussion" about it). I am very interested in the subconscious mind as well. If you have any suggestions on good reads or articles, absolutely anything I would love to know and possibly discuss. I posted an e-book on the discussion board about a month ago.